Une lettre pour mon ami imaginaire

Cher GrandMarnier,

How are you? I hope you are well. I am writing to apologize for not going to see you and Yelle and Tepr on Tuesday. You see, I had to work and then give this ridiculous presentation and there was just no way I could make it in time. It really broke my heart. I mean, who knows when you will be back anywhere near the US, let alone Chicago? Please forgive me. Next time, I will be there, wearing everything day-glow and giant smile on my face.

Anyway, maybe one day we can all hang out and wear brightly colored pants and just chill. It would be super fun. I swear.


Thanks for making wonderful music and being adorable.


Cordialement,


Laura

p.s. - Your purple pants are way awesome. Keep up the good work.

photo by John Brunner

An Open Letter

Dearest Freshens Employees,

Usually, the only noise I hear coming from your shop is the sound of your blender, but now there are some other noises in the air. From the small CD player/radio behind the counter a very significant amount emo-tunes are exploding into the world. Now everyone is entitled to their own musical taste, but really, you want to listen to an emo-fied cover of "I Promise You I Will" by Depeche Mode? Really? I can tell you put a lot of work into the mix-tape you brought to work today, but did you notice as you were making it that although you have selected multiple different artists; all their voices sound the same? Sometimes I wonder if it is really just like 3 guys who wear different wigs and hats, pretending to be multiple bands and stealing money away from lonely high school and college students everywhere.

Please do not be offended, for I am only trying to help you. Listen to it all you want, but do so in the privacy of your home or at a modest volume level. You don't see me forcing my music upon an unsuspecting public, now do you?



Love always,


Laura


P.S. - Wait. Now you are playing Katy Perry. Never mind. You're dead to me.