"The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy."

So I wrote this note on the Facebook a while back and just decided I would post it here as well. 

I am reading this book right now by sociologist Micheal Kimmel titled Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men and every sentence is like blowing my mind. It is a sociological study of men age 16 to 26 and why so many of them are acting like...guys for so freaking long. Kimmel's study included over 400 interviews over the span of about 4 years. Needless to say, he has spoken to many more dudes and bros that I ever wish to see in my entire life. Anyway, it is filled with so many wonderful wonderful quotes that I would have to practically retype the entire book just to tell you my favorite ones.

In one section he is discussing how young men define masculinity and the use of the phrase "that's gay" to define something as un-manly. Kimmel brings up a question he has asked during many of his interviews and workshops and that’s when the sad sad magic happens.

"If you see a man walking down the street, or meet him at a party, how do you 'know' if he is homosexual?...Women says they 'suspect' a man might be gay if he's interested in what she's talking about, knows something about what she's talking about, or is sensitive and a good listener...So, what do straight men do to make sure that no one gets the wrong idea about them?...Just make sure that you walk, talk, and act in a different way from the gay stereotype; dress terribly; show no taste in art or music; show no emotions at all. Never listen to a thing a woman saying, but express immediate and unquenchable sexual interest. Presto, you're a real man."

Sad stuff my friends. Sad stuff.